Photo by Antonino Visalli on Unsplash
Our relationships shape who we become. Like gardens, people require intentional cultivation—weeding and nurturing bring health and growth. Scripture shows us that the quality of our connections with others isn’t peripheral to spiritual life but central to it, reflecting and reinforcing our connection with God.
“Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” (Proverbs 21:21 ESV)
The wise teacher connects our active pursuit of virtue with finding true life and its accompanying blessings. By highlighting two relationship-centered qualities—righteousness (right relationships) and kindness (generous goodwill)—as pathways to flourishing. Because God has designed human life to thrive within a framework of justice and compassion, where moral integrity and tender mercy shape our interactions.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV)
Paul provides practical guidance for how our words can either contaminate or cultivate life-giving relationships. By contrasting destructive communication with purposeful speech that constructs, contextualizes, and conveys grace, our words carry extraordinary power to diminish or dignify others, creating environments where death or life can flourish.
Spiritual Move: Service—Focusing on the welfare of others through help that flows from love. When we serve others, we engage with God’s life-giving nature, moving beyond self-concern to actively contribute to the flourishing of others with tangible expressions of care.
Journaling Prompts:
1. Reflect on a relationship where your words or actions have been more life-taking than life-giving. What specific changes might transform this dynamic?
2. Think about someone who consistently builds you up with their words. What qualities of their communication might you intentionally develop in your own relationships?
Thought and Discussion Questions:
1. How do you discern whether your speech in a given situation is truly “good for building up” or subtly serving your own interests?
2. What makes some relationships consistently life-giving while others drain or diminish us?
3. How might regularly practicing service transform your perspective toward difficult relationships?
4. In what ways does pursuing righteousness and kindness in relationships look different in various contexts (family, workplace, church, etc.)?